How can a mathematical rule guide choosing a spouse?
Core argument: Conard's mate-selection formula begins with a "calibration" phase in which a person dates roughly a third of a pool of promising candidates chosen at random, marrying none of them and treating the best among them as the benchmark.
You start off by "calibrating" your choice. That means meeting as many suitable partners as possible. Cast your net wide, he urges, but initially you must forget about lust and even love: "That's evolution trying to get us to have babies," cautions Mr Conard. You won't date anyone now, you are just gathering people who might make the grade. There probably won't be that many, maybe a handful or two. Once you've got a set of promising candidates, you move to phase two. You're going to date a third of this subset, choosing them pretty much at random. You won't marry any of these people, according to his rules, so be prepared to be hard-hearted, moving on however attractive a potential partner seems. The most suitable person in this period "calibrates" your choice, setting the standard for the next stage in the process. What follows is what Mr Conard calls the "evaluation" period: this is when you actually choose your future spouse. Once again, you've got to drop potential partners like a stone if you can't resolve problems fairly easily. "You have to be ruthless," he insists. "If you are not highly confident that that person is a person you can be successfully married to… you have to get rid of them." Here's Mr Conard's key rule: "When you find someone better than the best person in the calibration period, you marry them. And if you haven't found anyone by the end, you marry the last person."





